Well, I'm back... again. Much has happened physically, mentally and spiritually. I didn't think I had much worthwhile to share I am beginning to see scattered signs that this journal, sharing with you the path I have chosen and my experiences with Al is what God wants me to do. I'm far from saying that this is definitely where He is calling me but I will continue to meditate and pray about it and hopefully I will see the path once again that He is laying for me.

Al continues to extract his toll, yet because I can walk and move about without any apparent difficulties, to the casual observer, I still appear to be doing well. But, much has changed now, my hands and arms are now quite weak. Many simple mindless tasks, retrieving a snack, opening a ziplock, unlocking a door... carrying 3 items simultaneously, now require thought and effort. Sitting here typing this journal is a challenge; some fingers are reluctant to respond, my forearms and back tire easily. I will type these updates out but it will take much more time and effort.

As I mentioned in a prior entry, as I lost function, I would devise new strategies to maintain my functionality. With my arms, I can no longer do that, I have reached the point where I no longer have enough reserves to compensate for the deficits that Al inflicts upon me. But, this is where I give God praise for Kathy; without her, this portion of the journey would be difficult. Kathy has quietly, seamlessly, almost on cue, stepped in to fill the increasingly number of gaps in what I can do. She has a sixth sense about it, often assuming new roles of help, often before I realize I need it. She does this quietly and efficiently, always there, always ready, sparing my fragile ego the bruise of the need to ask for help. She lifts me up and carries me when I most need it; she is my Joan of Arc in shining armor.

Our marriage is much stronger now. We are closer... much closer. This is what I consider is a collateral benefit of Al. We know that our time together here is finite so we talk, we share, we laugh, we cry, we savor our moments together. Simple times: cuddling and hugs before sleep, saying goodbye when leaving for work, a quick hug and a kiss are special. We enjoy them, remember them, because soon, they will only be a memory. Fights are a rarity; in light of Al, differences are stupid and inconsequential. Gone are all the complexities, Al has stripped away all the worldly, materialistic distractions and has left us with a simple relationship of love expressed continually in preeminent commitment, care and support of each other. Our marriage is good, the best it has ever been, better than I ever imagined. And, the irony of it all, I don't think this would have happened without Al.