Lunch with Dr. C.

The other day I had another appointment with doctor C . It was a most unusual appointment. It started with an e-mailed me stating that he wanted to meet with me alone... without Kathy. The fact that it was going to be just myself, concerned me, I was afraid that this was going to be the appointment where he would unleash the harsh realities of what I would be facing in the future with Al. I had been telling him that I wanted to know the brutal truth of the hardships that Al would bring. This would be the day he would give me what I was asking for. It must be bad news because he offered to drive to see me at my job rather than have me come to his office.

He came by and pick me up and took me out to lunch. At lunch instead of flogging me with the brutal reality that I was quietly bracing for, he surprised me with a gentle compliment; "You're doing surprisingly well". I smiled and replied "It's God and prayer. I have a LOT of people praying for me", grateful for the army of supporters who have been faithfully praying for us. I was thinking of my physical status; although my arms are considerably weaker, my body is holding up better than I expected... weaker but better than expected. However, as I was to realize later, Dr. C's statement was directed more at how I was doing mentally rather than physically.

As our lunch continued our conversation ranged from ALS to life to peace to family to goals to death to hope and intertwined throughout this whole conversation was God. As we spoke, I realized how much he was intertwined in every aspect of my life. I could not speak of any of this without talking about God.

I relished this time we spent together, he was someone that I could speak openly and candidly to. He understood as well as anyone could of what I was going through. He shared valuable insight to situations that I was facing. But, most importantly, I was able to speak to him without worrying about making him uncomfortable or he trying to think of comforting things to say to me. It wasn't a conversation between doctor and patient but rather two people sharing a common ground.

During this time he emphasized that I needed to speak out, to share my message with others. I was surprised. I wasn't expecting a comment like this to come from him. I thought about it and agreed. This is one of the reasons why I am returning from my hiatus to post once again.

Dr C is a craftsman, a treasure of a doctor that makes this world better place. I continually give thanks for the good fortune of having him as my guide on this journey. At the end of our lunch, as he was driving me back to work, he revealed another side that deepened my respect for him. It revealed a side of someone constantly striving to hone his craft, willing to use creative and unconventional means to gain insight into his patients, their problems and solutions. He shared with me that this lunch was, in part, an attempt to gain a further understanding to a problem that he's been trying to understand. He wants to know what it is that differentiates people's responses when given the diagnosis of a terminal disease. What is it that enables some people to handle it well while others fall apart? The lunch was a part of that quest. By getting to know the people, to understand who they are, to figure out what makes them tick, Dr C. Is trying to understand. Few physicians would do this. I was one of his unofficial 'research' subjects. If it makes him a better physician, that's fine with me. It will be better for those who follow. Besides, he paid for lunch. ; )

Thank You Dr. C.

I'm back!

Hi Everyone

Sorry for the long silence. It's not because things have been going badly, but more so because I've been busy running around trying to get things done. I haven't caught up, far from it, but I realized if I waited till I caught up to repost, there wouldn't be anymore entries.

Status wise, thankfully, I am still doing well. Thank you all for your prayers. It had seemed as if Al had slowed a bit for awhile. At times I even began to wonder if I had much more time than Dr. E. had initially given me. This was a nice bit of time to feel almost normal again. Unfortunately, Al has resumed his relentless march, picking away at my muscle strength.

I am beginning the next of Al's phases. Up to now I have been able to compensate for the weakness, but now it's progressed to a point that my limitations are becoming visible and are affecting my day to day activities - crap. Oh well, it's just another thing I have to deal with. Actually, it's a mental game; as I become physically limited in yet another way, I devise a new strategy to overcome it. So far, so good : ) 

Mentally, I'm still doing fine and I'm enjoying life more than ever. Thank you friends for all the wonderful support - you do more than you can ever imagine! I know to some that I may be sounding like a broken record but I have to give a big shout-out to God. I am constantly puzzled at my positive attitude. Despite declining functionality of my body, at times on an almost daily basis, I'm pretty happy. Happy to the point that at times I begin to question if I really understand what is going to happen. But, I do understand and the only explanation I can give is God.

I am continually amazed at what God can do once you go beyond the superficial and bring him in and develop a personal relationship with Him. To some this may sound foreign.... strange. All I can do is to invite you to see for yourself. Dig deep, he's there. It's not because I'm trying to 'convert' you. Nope, honestly, it's just that I've found something incredibly good and I just want to share it.

Blessings,
Dan